I started this once before, Blogging that is... My computer was found one day with a dead hard drive. I lost everything. I forget my Blogger password and I am not certain, but I do believe that my dog ate the book that contained my passwords. So we begin, again.
It would happen to be March 13th, 2010 and I am starting something new. It hit me like a ton of bricks that March 13th was Saturday. I was at work on Friday, going 100 mph and trying to get more done than I had time to do and I typed in the date, March 13, for a patient to begin service and I had a wave of sadness hit me like a ton of bricks, March 13th. I do not like the number 13.
Saturday March 13, 2010 - 13 years ago, I held on to my son, Jason Josiah York, as he passed home to his Heavenly Father. Leaving us to miss him each and every day. My mind knows that he is doing the work that Father in Heaven has asked him to do but my heart is still heavy as I reflect on the things that we as a family have not had the opportunity to enjoy with Jason.
As our family grows and each new addition arrives my mind wonders: Would he be married? If so, would my daughter-in-law like me? Would he have any children? Would he live nearby? Would school or work require his family to be far from home? You wonder all the who, what, where and when and then you grieve for the not knowing.
After I stop feeling sorry for myself the tears are still flowing; I am grateful for the knowledge of a forever family. It brings me great joy to know that the blessings of the temple and the covenants that I have made will give me the opportunity to be with him again. I know that Jason is alive and doing the missionary work that he always wanted to do. I know that my family is blessed because we had the opportunity to have Jason as part of our family unit. I look forward to the day I will see him again. I hope that he will be pleased with what we have done as a family and know that we did all we could to be with him once more.
When Jason knew his time was growing near to return to his Heavenly Father, he expressed a fear that others would forget him and that those who joined our family after he left would never know him, I want him to know that he is remembered and loved. We still have people who tell us about about their love for him and the special memories they have of him and that his nieces and nephews ALL know who he is and they know where he is, his sisters have shared their stories and pictures with the kids. All seven of them know and love Uncle Jason. When number 8 arrives the stories will begin, again.... So the circle keeps on going.
March 13th will turn into March 14th and I will still miss him, some things will never change
you just made me cry. I love jason so much and think of him everyday! And HE WILL NEVER be forgotten! He is in my life.. he helps me get thro. that hard stuff.. I always ask myself "what would jason do?"I feel blessed he was MY big brother!
ReplyDeleteI only know Jason through your eyes but I can tell you that he is proud to call you Mom and I am grateful to call you friend. Thank you for sharing the thoughts of your heart.
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